As time pushes closer towards my departure as a coordinator here in Maximumland and I contemplate what my role at the rag will be in the future, I think one thing I'm almost certain of is that I'd like to try and use this column to fill the void left by the not-so-recent departure of Mr. Cordova and try to cover the more youth-crew/mosh-y/sXe hues of the hardcore spectrum. Not exclusively of course, but it's something that is severely lacking here and I’d like to change that. Well, I just plan on writing about hardcore in general. We don't actually have any columns dedicated exclusively to hardcore, though we certainly do cover a lot of it.
A friend recently scored a huge collection of records, mostly from the late ’80s thru early ’90s and of the straightedge/mosh persuasion. After filing away the records he wanted and trading off what he could that he didn't want, I got the privilege of taking the leftovers off his hands. You see, right now I am way into bottom-of-the-barrel crap from this time period/scene, inept mosh, as I have dubbed it, and was way more than happy to waste precious space in my room to house his scraps. It's one thing to be “a completely shitty record,” but what I'm looking for is a whole other ballgame. The shit that makes your jaw drop and your friends laugh hysterically for like 20 seconds before ordering you to turn it off. I honestly like this stuff. So, in keeping with the future goals of this column, I feel, what a better way to start than a run through of some highlights from my score of some of the worst straightedge records of all time. Here goes nuthin’.
Thus far (I still have about 80 records to listen to) there are two hands-down champions of the This-Sucks-So-Bad-It's-Mind-Blowing award. The first one being a 1991 7" called Chance To Live by a band called Discontent from upstate New York. This fuckin' thing is the gold-standard of “inept mosh” and leaves all competition in the dust. The vocals are so loud in the mix and I'd be hard-pressed to find a finer example just how off time a singer could be that it's incredible. A telltale sign of “inept mosh” is that fucking terribly piercing high-end early-'90s wandering bass sound, which is most definitely present here. With different vocals Chance To Live could be another sub-sub-par early ’90s NYHC record but as is, this platter is easily among the worst of the worst and thus one of the best records ever.
The other was a familiar face—something that a couple friends of mine had during my hardcore infancy but don’t recall ever hearing—though I was whole-heartedly surprised to see that it was released on such as high-caliber a label as Nemesis and produced by none other than Bad Religion's own Mr. Epitaph Brett Gurewitz. I'm talking about Once And For All's Thinking Man's World 7". What better way to open a shitty record than some god-awful fuckin’ slap bass. Oh, and what's better is that said playing technique runs through the whole first song (and obviously most of the record). Track-two is a rotten adaptation of that “War, huh, good god, what is it good for...” song that starts with the A-Team theme song. Ugh. Woah, I can't believe I made it this far with out mentioning that the vocals are the some of the worst faux-rapping I've ever wrapped my ears around. I mean, this dude's really actually trying to rap. Fuck. A true gem.
It would also be unfair to let this column go by without mentioning the record that sparked my interest in finding more records like this: Step Aside's I'll Take Darkness 7". I got this a while ago (though I did score a second copy from this collection) and I doubt Graham had any idea what kind of monster would be unleashed when he said “Oof, that record is bad,” or something to that effect, at Amoeba during one of his recent visits, cause I bought it anyway. Definitely more “together” than the Discontent 7", but this is just sloppy enough and with just the right “wrong” production to hang on. One or two more practices and these dudes would slip right into the forgettable zone.
There were also some surprises in this box of records too. Some shit I had never heard of that was actually pretty good (obviously second or even third tier, but still good): the early-era Rev. stylings of Powerhouse’s 7" from ’89 on New Age Records, Pittbull's “I've Given Up/Don't make Me” 7" fuckin’ rules, both B'Zrker 7"s rule, as does the 7" from Leckie and company's pre-Voorhees band Steadfast, along with some long-gone old favs like Eye For An Eye Omega Drone, Kingpin 7", and the Boston Hardcore, In Memory of Reggie Lewis comp (best Dive song). And last but not least I finally got back The Current, Outspoken’s finest hour. There was a point when all the second-generation youth crew bands and those still hangin’ on from the first were dabbling in the emo and this record (and the Turning Point LP) are the high-watermark of the time. Fuck man, New Age Records had the lock on that shit; Grip Friction Burn Fatal, Resurrection, Mouthpiece, Outspoken… there was a point in my life when all of my favorite records were on New Age. Now I wholeheartedly understand if you go and listen to some or all this crap I’m talking about and think it’s pure shit whether you’re hearing it for the first time or revisiting something. You should. This era was truly unique in that it was an era where pretty much every band sucked and I’m probably the only one out there that can still stomach this shit. If Grip played tomorrow, I’d go. I wouldn’t travel to get there, but if it was close, I’d go and be psyched.
Playlist: everything above, A Farewell to Arms comp LP, Unit Pride 7", Coward/Gasmask split LP, Ultraviolent Crime for Revenge 7" and everything else on Riot City. Send your Dead Wretched No Hope For Anyone 7"s, Underdogs East of Dachau 7" and Krakdown 7"s to me at the MRR PO Box. Especially Krakdown.
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